Since when did elite become a four letter word?

Not to borrow a note from Sam Harris' page, but I'm beginning to have serious doubts about the simple reasoning capabilities of the average American. Perennially, I fail to see why we would want to elect someone otherwise unqualified for the job based upon the fact that I think I could sit down and have a beer with him or her. In the case of the president, this is the person who holds the launch codes for the largest nuclear arsenal on the planet and I want to be able to have a beer with him? No. I want the leader of the largest super power in the world to be educated, at least as much as me, experienced and worldly. After all, nationalism is not the only issue that a president deals with on a daily basis. I also want a president who can think on his or her feet - who doesn't need a cue card to remember relevant facts and situations. And, I also don't want a president or vice-president who believes that this is the "end of days" and that she's fighting the fight of the "last generation". Perhaps that's too inferential, but having attended Assembly of God services three times in Alaska (once in Wasilla), I can tell you for certain, these people aren't operating on the same level as you and I. Foregoing the evolution debate (she's a strict creationist which makes me shudder, can you not reason with these people?!), the parishioners of the Assembly of God churches believe in a micromanaging God. A god that tells them what to eat, when to sleep and ultimately how to deal with every minutia and issue in their lives. The Pope may be leader of a country and also have the ear of God, but while I respect her right to exercise whatever religion she would like, we're fighting a war on fundamentalism and I don't think we should fight it with more fundamentalism. Much like her leader, Palin cannot tell you the ideological differences between Suni and Shiite Muslims, nor how mainstream Islam is different from radical Islamists in their interpretation. Her small-town leadership has not prepared her for a whole-world paradigm and I'm simply not comfortable giving her the spare key to the whitehouse, even if she isn't an "educated white male" or "east-coast liberal".

Spring time in the Palouse

As the days begin to lengthen and the sun sheds more light on more of the day, you begin to notice things changing around you. I've been making the walk from home to school since the early days of January. In the midst of winter, I would walk to school in the dark, and make the trek home at dark as well, passing a bridge, a park, and many quiet abodes on my way back to mine. Recently, though, this commute has become somewhat of an experiential sojourn. I leave the office, usually around 5, at least that's what I aim for, and I exit into an often sunny evening. Students are bustling about with their ipods in ears, wearing the latest spring fashions (even though it's still only about 50 degrees F outside). It's funny, but they sort of form a homogeneous mass, making them easily discernible from other members of the campus (e.g. grad students, faculty and staff). I descend a massive hill (note: this hill must be ascended every morning as well) noting the newly blooming daffodils and other spring ephemerals. I also notice that the brown hill is slowly becoming green as dormancy gives way to the great growth that must start and end before the fall. I walk past the park and enjoy the rowdiness of pee-wee t-ball and soccer being played on the newly green fields. What a freedom it must be to run and chase and fall with such abandonment. Then I turn the corner and begin to mount the second of my hills.
Recently, I have been watching an old man who is out tending to his flower beds every evening as I pass by. His back is curved from years of spinal degeneration, and his home and other buildings bear the signs of neglect. Yet, here he is, pulling weeds, raking dead humus away to reveal a carefully planned and beautifully executed series of flower beds. Purple lilies, a variety of tulips and daffodils, and snow drops emerge from their once frigid dorms in this dark earth. I don't know if he notices my observations (I'm staring at him, taking in his every move), but I find some serenity in his actions. He his methodical and calculating in his efforts to cultivate beauty.
In some way, this is what spring time is: A methodical process of bringing the world out of our wintry hibernation and into a season of tempestuous unpredictability.
I look forward to warmer days and less time at the desk. Ciao.

Hooray for snow!

I realize that after the last entry that perhaps I may have sounded a bit dire (it prompted e-mails and phone calls from my parents to make sure I was alright - thanks Mom and Dad), but things are looking up. Still no money for sure, but I at least have an idea of what research I can do this summer and that's the first major hurdle to get over. But, I won't bore you with the mundane details of grad student life - just know that I have been getting away from time to time to hit the slopes and shred it on the mountain. With the exception of last weekend, the snow here has been phenomenal and I'm having a great time honing my snowboarding skills. I still try to shirk the 'snowboarder' image as much as possible (aka listless jerk who flies down the mountain out of control without regards for others), but I'm starting to look a little too good to not be considered bonafide (I hope people can sense the sarcasm there). Here's a picture of my roommate Brian and I on the chairlift on a day when the temp didn't get about 10F. It's really the embodiment of happiness - hooray for snow!

Crawling towards an indeterminant end

Ugh....brain is mush, body is tired and out of shape, and wardrobe needs some serious emergency care. Why you ask has this transformation occured? Well, it's a little something we like to call graduate school.
Take your best day. The day when you really know what you're doing. When your friends and coworkers enjoy you and tell you you're cool, and smart and funny. Do you remember days like that? I do too, and they don't happen in graduate school. You've left those great days behind for late night paper writing sessions and uncomfortable moments when you have to let your advisor know that you didn't get around to doing 1 of the 150 things he mentioned in passing. How were you to know that was the important item? In addition to being treated like a serf, you live in virtual poverty. I've never considered beans so important. And rice has a whole new meaning. The luxuries in life, chocolate and ice cream for instance, are replaced by a night of mind-numbing tv watching. The glowing screen is sooooo pretty....ah.....
Why would one put themself through this veritable cabre of unpleasantness? Because society tells us we need a Ph.D. to be really successful. Nevermind being good at the job you're doing now, or liking the lifestyle you currently lead. There are always bigger and better things that await the blossoming doctoral candidate. It's complete bullshit, but it's there.
I'm going to end this with saying and attitude change is in order. Not mine of course, but the system. And as always - Damn the man.
Cheers.

Gray hairs and coffee stains

I am an old fart.

It hurts every time I say it. I thought I would just ignore the social security update that came in the mail. I've simply neglected the budding crop of gray hairs on the top of my head. I accept that I am older than the students I teach.....but when grad students all start saying, "Oh yeah, you are older than me....wow...." What's so freaking amazing about that? Argh.
So, here is another point to prove my new found academic situation: current pages on favorites.
Mycology
Dr. Fungus
Statistics for Dummies
iTunes (this is becoming a serious habit)
Bamboo Society of America
New York Botanical Garden Virtual Herbarium
You get the general idea....nerd.

So, just to prove I'm not that geeky I've posted this picture of Debby and I at our dress-up party. We were Captain Canada and the Royal Purple Crusaders!
So not geeky.

Back in the Academic Saddle again

Here's how Monday went:
6:30, Son of a bitch, is that the alarm? Find it, find it, find it.....where the hell is the snooze on this thing? Could it sound any worse?
6:33, well, I'm awake now, might as well get up.
Breakfast consists of cold cereal with bananas....now I have to get my stuff ready for school and ready to work out.
7:08 catch the bus (did I mention that I was running to catch it because soeur, with whom I am staying, is perpetually late, it's a good thing she's a track star)
7:16 arrive at the gym/rec center. If this place is any indication of the school's populus, I am in serious trouble. Make resolution to work out more, eat less, and stop drinking beer.
45 minutes on elyptical machine, do those things really work you out? It said I burned 400 calories, but I feel like I just walked for 10 minutes....hmmm......sit-ups, more sit-ups, did I mention the sit-ups? Must burn off beer gut, no more beer, no more beer.
8:30 Head to showers -I am a stinky beast
9:10 I'm in the office reading about Enteroblastic development.....I don't know what it is either.
It's interesting being back at school. The student body is very young, and I feel ever so slightly like a old fart, knowing I'm not, but still.
Classes are interesting. It's weird that I spend what would be a "working" day in class. Seriously? I'm getting paid to do this? Not much, but paid none-the-less.
Insurance is also a bonus in this whole equation. No longer will I put off going to the dentist! Drills and scrapers - bring it on!
I have yet to teach my first lab course. I'm trying to make it as fun as possible, because these people need to be entertained in order to like science. It's a small price to pay to define the difference between the lay term "theory" and the scientific definition of "theory". Maybe we'll finally put that ridiculous child of IDT to bed....maybe not. We'll see.
Anyhoo, I have regular internet access on my own computer, so this should be updating far more frequently than before. Until then, travel the winding road, and try not to trip on the potholes.

Mel 1, Gators 0

Unscathed by alligators and South Florida cultural weirdness, I continue to press on in the Everglades. It isn’t easy selling this veritable mud hole to school children, but someone’s gotta do it, and until April, that someone is me.
The birds are really starting to come in here, and I saw roseate spoonbills for the first time ever. They look like flying Pepto-Bismol – they’re such a bright pink. The wood storks have also been hanging around, and for any Everglades buffs, the wood stork is one of our species of major concern. Turns out – when we take their habitat away, well that seems to have a negative effect on their populations. Go figure. The other thing we tend to run into as a general problem with selling the Everglades to South Floridians is that most of them are more concerned with how to get off the Dolphin Express alive during rush hour than what’s going on with the Everglades. And really, who can blame them? I-95 and its off-shoots are a sure fire way to ruin a day.
But, onto the niceties of the Panhandle. I’ve been able to get out canoeing on a couple of occasions, although many of the park’s good canoe trails are still closed due to the one-two punch from Katrina and Wilma. In addition, January tends to be one of the coldest months in Florida with lows in the forties and highs in the sixties, and winds out of the east, and to a very mediocre canoeist such as myself, that seems to be a hindrance. I don’t know – just don’t like the thought of getting dumped in shark or gator infested waters. I know, I know, you’re a big sissy Mel. Well, sue me; they have bigger teeth than I do.
There was a moment of excitement when I thought Lindsay Lohan was going to come to the Everglades as part of her treatment for “allergies” over new years, but alas she did not show. Other celebrities who live in or around the Everglades include Dave Barry, Shaquille O’Neal, and Ricky Freakin’ Martin! Needless to say, I don’t see much of them, but there are these three gators on the anhinga trail, and I named them Ricky, Shaq, and Gloria (don’t forget the Estafan machine!). Coming from the Northwest, South Florida is a bit of a culture shock. You don’t have any of the general niceness that you get in the northwest, and people use their car horns so frequently, I’ve started to be able to decipher what different honks mean at different times. There’s the “It’s green, you moron, I’ve been waiting 1/16 of a second, now go!” honk, then there’s the “I can’t believe you slowed and stopped on a yellow light you loser!” honk, then finally there’s the “Hey pretty lady walking on the street, look at my sweet Hyundai!” honk. So much to learn and so little time.
There is talk of doing a little international travel while I’m here. You can get super cheap flights to the Bahamas and Jamaica. Not sure what to do if I get there, but I’ve got a current passport, and soon, the money will be rolling in once I start harvesting my cash crop of ghost orchids out of the cypress swamps. Susan Orlean eat your heart out!
Until the next installment, I wish you all health and happy days in the new year – oh yeah, and I’m up to running three miles a day if anyone is keeping track. Boo-yeah!

Follow the migratory path of Mel

Another summer come and gone, and as I stare out the window at the rain spattering on the parking lot, I think to myself, I can't wait for snow. But I'm not going to get snow this year. Nope, I'll be lending my services to.....SUNNY FLORIDA!!!!!! That's right folks! A non-paid expense trip to spend six months in North America's most unique ecosystem, the EVERGLADES! You'll spend five days a week canoeing with fifth graders, and alligators, and tromping through the dense swamps showing snakes, spiders, and other slitheries to curious visitors. But to give you a little idea of where I'm coming from, this is the current view from Lake McDonald:
This, however is what Everglades looks like right now:
Which one would you take? Yeah, I know it's a really hard decision. Ski for the winter, run around the swamp looking for things that can eat me. It's a toss up. At any rate, I'm very excited to be employed. Although, truth be told, I was looking forward to my six weeks of unemployment, but I suppose getting paid beats sitting on my parents' couch watching reruns and catching up on Hollywood gossip. That Brad and Angelina thing is really heatin' up though. Oh well.
Currently at Glacier, I'm working with the education groups from the surrounding area, and without fail, I have contracted my first of, I'm sure, many colds. Sore throat, aches, and a general lack of ambition. It's at times like these that I wish I had a tv. But book learnin' will have to do. I have to read through my new Everglades books, so that when I get there, I'm not like "Alligator, who?"
So, if anyone is planning a Florida vacation for the winter, look up Ranger Melissa up in Everglades National Park. I'll be stationed out of Homestead and Hidden Lake.

The Powers of the Badge only go so far

I would just like to reiterate for the cyber-world and public at large, that because I wear a badge does not mean that I have control of the weather. If I did, you better believe it would snow a lot more in January and be an even 78 degrees from June through September. Unfortunately though, the weather does whatever it is going to do. Encompassing, but not limited to: snow, sleet, hail, copious amounts of rain and lightning strikes. I apologize for these inconveniences, but unfortunately, that 's the crap game you play when planning an outdoor vacation. So buck up, have an alternate plan, and bring an umbrella. There, that's been said, now on to more fun stuff.
Did another back-country trip. Up and over Gunsight Pass

and stayed at Lake Ellen Wilson, which is the one in the picture here. To use a term coined by our friend Eric, "It wope our asses". Yeah, it was kinda tough. Three thousand feet of vertical gain and twelve miles. Argh....I took a nap and listened to loons on the lake. That night, I think we were all dehydrated, so we ate a hearty meal of powerade (the red kind), and chicken picante ramen. Just enough salts to start to get that headache to go away. Then, I made the dumb mistake of reading "Night of the Grizzlies" before we went to bed, which is an account of two grizzly killings on the same night in 1967. Note to self: reading about bear attacks in bear country, not good for sleep purposes. The next day we awoke early due to cramped sleeping conditions, overheating, and Eric's incessant snoring ("I'm keeping the bears away," he says. Right....). Then we headed to Sperry Chalet, where we shared a pitcher of lemonade, after which we got the heck out of dodge, since 12 inches of snow is coming our way!!! Great weekend, and I just passed the 300 mile mark, and 307 for the season. Woo-hoo! I think I need new hiking boots now though, christmas ideas anyone?

Where can I see a glacier? What are those Alpine monkeys? and other funny things tourists say

Hello again from the crown of the continent, I finally broke down and got some pictures developed although the scanning of them was less than stellar (boo to Wal-Mart), I 'll have to scan the negatives myself sometime when I have a few minutes.
Let's see, the hiking tally is up to 247 miles, and 1 successfully completed peak ascent (Mt. Oberlin). I say peak ascent, but it's really a glorified day hike. Doesn't take too long and it's only a 1500 foot elevation gain. I'm sure we'll be doing some more in the near future, but we'll have to see. Went into Canada, and we were searched at the border. It might have had something to do with the large amounts of drugs and firearms I had stashed in the back of my Subaru. Come on. Do I really look that shady? Well, when we finally got over the border, it was poaring rain, and the prospect of putting a tent up in that seemed somewhat perilous, so we decided to sleep in the car. That's right, three adults, who had just consumed copious amounts of burritos where going to sleep in the back of my station wagon. Ewww.... Well, a few hours and a small bottle of Southern Comfort later, we were sound asleep like sardines in a little can. We woke up the next morning to the sound of hail pounding down on the roof of my new car (ouch), and gathered our berrings and drove into Waterton Lakes National Park in Canada. The hike started out sunny and beautiful, but quickly turned into a long, fog dense hike. Truthfully, we hiked 12 miles, and besides the first three miles, I have no idea what the rest of the trail looked like. When we got to the end, the shuttle to go back to car was not running, so we ambushed some nice mormons coming out of the visitor center and they gave us a ride.
Last weekend was a Canada weekend too, but not quite the amount of rain, but there was a little bit of haze from fires in Washington, so the pictures were somewhat unspectacular. Anyway, hope you all enjoy the pictures and come to Glacier!

Youthful indiscretion backfired!

So, for my 24th birthday, my bestfriend Leslie and I got pierced. She got a sweet industrial piercing and I got my tragus pierced. I've been feeling pretty bad-ass about the whole thing, because, well it hurt a lot, and it's just cool. One of the things you have to do for these piercings is clean them - a lot. So, I've been diligently cleaning the piercing, but perhaps too much so, because I think I have developed SWIMMER'S EAR!!! What?! I've been dumping so much soap and water down my ear that it has become inflamed. I know you have to worry about contracting things like bacterial infections, hepatitis, and ebola when you get pierced, but swimmer's ear? Come on!

Alaskagain?

So, what's the lure? Is it the sheer size, or scale of the place? The incredible long summer days? I don't know what it is, but somehow I find myself waiting to board another airplane to Anchorage.
Airports are strange places. It's constant transience punctuated by weird encounters and strange fixtures. For instance, at the Alaska Airlines concourse in Seattle, there is this water fountain that makes these water gurgling noises when you press the button to get a drink of water. The way this thing sounds, you would think that you were trying to get a drink out of Victoria Falls. Anyway, I think it's an art installment because it has a title, a name of someone, and a date printed on a little bronze label right next to it. For what purpose this serves, I'm unsure, but it certainly doesn't add any tranquility with its low pressure. I hate drinking fountains with low pressure - you always have to lean really far down to get a drink, coming dangerously close to touching the spigot. ewww....
Anchorage is Anchorage. I really don't like this town very much, but I'm excited to get to Seward and start working with the kids again. I mean school children, not Jacob Berg. The sky is a gorgeous azure, and the smog is at a minimum, allowing Denali to juxtapose itself between the few tall buildings here in Anchorage. People are gearing up for summer, and I take no small comfort in knowing that I will not have to be here, on an island, for the duration of the summer. The crazy train, called Seward in the summer, will not have me on board, phew!
Just working on shipping a few of my things back to Oregon, and that will be the end of my Alaska reign. I think everyone should try and live in Alaska for at least a little bit, just to experience the challenge. It's a great place to visit, but I'm not sure that I'm ready to live here again. Just a little too far away from the world.
Well, I have some more shameless copying of DVD's to do, but look forward to hearing some of the adventures in Seward that will be coming in the following weeks.

And it only gets worse

Just when I thought I'd slip back into my comfortable oblivion, I decided to see what was happening on MSNBC. Well, let's just say folks, it's not looking too good. At least Terri Schiavo gets to die in peace (sort of, if you don't count the obnoxious protesters), but what about the president's silence on the school shooting in Minnesota? I guess we know where his priorities lie. And a finger in Wendy's chili? Dear Lord, if there's a finger in that chili, God only know what else could be there.
On a slightly brighter side of things, there is the annual furniture races at Big Mountain ski resort to end the season with a bang. They actually race these things down a hill and try not to kill themselves. It's sure to be very entertaining. I'll try to take some good pictures to post for everybody.

So irritated at the world

Has the world gone completely mad?! That's a rhetorical question, don't answer. I thought living in Montana, I would be immune from this crap about the world going to hell in a handbasket, but somehow, my escapist tactics have failed, and I am left pissed, and virtually incapable of doing anything because of my remoteness. Argh!!! How my plans have been foiled!
So, here is just a list of a few things that have put the proverbial bee in my bonnet:
Terry Schiavo, or "poor pawn for the religious right". Here's a good article about the Catholic Church's position on the case:http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7276850/site/Newsweek/ It's an interview with a Jesuit bioethicist. Leave it to the Jesuits to make the Catholics sound sane. Are you meaning to tell me that congress, and the president for that matter, is going to overturn the decisions of the Judicial branch whenever they feel like it? And that the constitutional right of marriage means squat? What was all that hot air at the beginning of the electoral season about the sanctity and constitutional rights of marriage? Oh, right, something to get votes from right leaning moderates (Dad).
Ok, number two thing that is totally pissing me off: The whole Pro-athletes using steroid issue. Ok, these people get paid obscene amounts of money for the work they do, and they use drugs; drugs are illegal, steroids are drugs, and we prosecute normal people for using both. WE DON'T WASTE TAX PAYER DOLLARS BY HOLDING CONGRESSIONAL HEARINGS OVER WHETHER OR NOT WE SHOULD DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!! Throw Maguire and Sosa's ass in jail, increase teacher salaries and get on with it.
Number three thing really irking me: myopic disposition of this administration. "We're not going to do anything about global warming even though there is an overwhelming body of evidence to support the fact that this is unprecedented warming caused by human actions." I'm actually supposed to show an "Attitude of Gratitude" for the funding that the park service does get. So what they're saying is "Shut up and be happy for what you do get." Is Big Brother watching? Well, it doesn't really matter because all these places are going to be deserts in 150 years anyway. Hey, here's another link for a good article on Global Climate Change in Glacier N.P. so y'all can educate yourselves a little. http://www.nrmsc.usgs.gov/research/global.htm
Breathe Mel, breathe.

Goodnight Nana

I would like to thank all of you who gave your condolences for my Grandmother. For those of you that do not know, my grandmother, Betsy Porter or "Nana" to me, passed away a week ago Tuesday. It was not a shock as she had been ill for quite some time, but you never seem to be prepared for these things to happen. She lived a good, long life, and it was only towards the end that kidney failure slowed her down. The family is very thankful that she went quietly and peacefully during the night. I would also like to comment on the incredile care and attention paid to my grandmother and the family by the hospice workers. What a hard job, and we could not have done it without them.
She will be missed, but we all know she gets to wake up in a much better place than here.

Dancthing Queen

Guess who's going to be a bonafide park ranger? That's right, yours truly. I get the Stetson hat and everything, and I'll be leading people on hikes, long hikes, not just pithy beach walks. Kick ass! So, I had the funniest kid the other day. It will be particularly funny for those of you who have seen Napoleon Dynamite. The day was Tuesday, and it was an afternoon just like any other. I didn't take particular notice to this child before, but perhaps because he was hungry, he didn't seem to talk much. Kids do that when they get hungry, they also whine - a lot.
So, we're eating lunch, and this kid gets a few calories in him, and he just starts acting. I recall that some of the phrases went something like this (imagine this dialogue though, with a thick lisp, unable to say r's or s's correctly)
Mel: Who's your favorite super hero?
Andrew: Thpider man. He hath thweet thpots on histh handsth where he sthoots out websth. (Demonstrates spiderman action) And if there were a bunch of girlsth awound we would say 'Girlsth sthep back. We'll handle thith.'
Mel: (Laughing)Oh yeah, so you'd protect the girls if you were spiderman?
Andrew: Yeah, causthe they need help sthometimesth. But you know what I weally like to do?
Mel: No, what.
Andrew: I love to dancthe.
Mel: (Humored and Intrigued) Oh yeah, let's see some of those dance moves.
Andrew: Yeah, I got thome pwetty sthweet dancthe movesth.
He then proceeds to get the kids around him to give him a beat, and starts his "sthweet dancthe movesth". I'm not kidding you, I think it was one of the funniest things I have ever seen. I should have mentioned the fact that he was wearing moonboots (Napoleon style), and very ill-fitted jeans (Napoleon style as well). The dancing consisted of some poorly executed handstands and various hip thrusts, but I don't know, there could have been stuff I didn't see because of the tears pouring out of my eyes. So then, we did the puppet show (don't ask), and went outside to play games. I was trying to get all the 1st graders around to explain the rules of the game (akin to herding cats), and little Andrew pipes up,"I don't think I want play the game. I'm gonna go over there and practithe my dancthe movesth." So he went over to the corner of the field and started dancing. He danced until he saw that the other kids were having fun, and then he came over, but it was pretty darn funny. You know, I'm totally gonna miss these kids when I don't get to work with them any more.
My parents also came and visited this week, and we had a great time. If anyone else would like to visit, I will be here through the 31st of March, and then coming back the 1st of June. Between those times, I will be in Alaska, so there will probably be some very depressing entries from my posts in Seward and Whittier, but we'll try to hang in there.
In lieu of the fact that this week's entry was entirely devoted to this 1st grader, I'm including another first grader funny quote. So here's the stats:
Weight gained: Holdin' steady at 3.2 pounds (God help me)
Wild game night menu: Antelope stew (add a new meat to the list!)
Miles skied/Hiked: 47 (5 mile hike with parents. No more snow =( )
First grader quote of the week: I have a thing with heights. (It's funny when little kids say things like adults - they have no idea what they're talking about.)

Poor poor Marty....

What did Martin Scorsese do to the academy to deserve this? I mean, sure Million Dollar Baby was incredible, but doesn't Marty deserve to be validated after all these years? Personally, I think he's a little long winded and unfocused, but shoot, just give the man his Oscar and get on with it. He and Susan Lucci should sit down and talk sometime.
Other than that I was really happy about the Oscar turn out, but did anybody else see a little too much of Beyonce? What, did the original artists go on strike or something? Does she have the best manager ever (isn't it her dad? Maybe he offed a couple of them). I don't know, but all I do know is that someone who once sang "Bootylicious" should not attempt French choral works.
And what was up with Josh Grobin? I thought the kid could sing, but can anybody say key modulation? Bring that sucker up three notches and then maybe he could hit the notes. No chance in the world for that kid.
Other than that, things are good and well here. I had an exciting run in with a Justin Timberlake look alike. This kid was a dead-ringer. It actually could have been him, but I doubt it judging the crowd he was hanging with, and well, what would Justin Timberlake be doing in Whitefish, MT? Anyway, we went to see "Hotel Rwanda" the other night and got some dinner before hand at the Bulldog. We walk in, and this blonde guy is blocking the way, so I simply say, "Excuse me", and he moves, but when he turns around, a slight notion of recognition occurs.
I said to Ali and Debby, "Does that guy remind you of someone?" and Ali replied, "Um, he looks exactly like Justin Timberlake." At which point I proceeded to start humming the JT songs I know, all three of them. He didn't come up much in conversation except for the occasional, "I bet he gets that a lot," but when we left, I looked back to see if the other ladies were behind me and accidentally made eye-contact. I nearly jumped. Seriously, this guy could be his double. So weird.
"Hotel Rwanda" was great, and you should all go out and see "Million Dollar Baby" right now. "Sideways" was also very good. Haven't seen "The Aviator" or "Finding Neverland" yet, but they're on the list.
Ok, here's the stats:
New gray hairs: 2
New Birds: Bohemian Waxwings
First Grader Quote of the Week: "If I die, is everybody else going to eat me?"
Miles skied: 41
Pounds gained: 3.4 (Who gains weight on a meager food stipend? I'm saying it's muscle replacing fat.)

Hand Sanitizer - a very good thing

So far I've been working with the rugrats five weeks and counting, and knock on wood, no colds or illnesses yet. I attribute this, in no small part, to my excessive overuse of Purell hand sanitizer. Sure my hands look like mudcracks in the Sahara, and are about as soft as sandpaper, but so far I have avoided the plague of viruses that these little vectors present. I would also like to thank Lysol brand sanitizing spray, as I use it to disinfect every surface that the children could have possibly touched. It's not overkill - it's self-preservation!
So, this week we had sixth graders for the first time, and I have determined through scientific means, that they are indeed, not human. They have attention spans shorter than first graders, are scared of the opposite sex, but want to have boyfriends and girlfriends, and they actually challenge what you say. Do they not know that as far as winter ecology is concerned, I am their God? Whatever I say is right. Of course snow has insulating properties, and the layer under the snow is called the subnivean, a wood rooted in Latin. Who the hell do these kids think they are? Ph.D.'s? And boys must start really liking boobs at about this point in time because I saw several staring at one of their classmates who was, shall we say, an early bloomer. Sick little bastards. Why can't they all be like first graders? Sure, they don't always make it to the bathroom on time, and their handwriting is atrocious at best, but at least they're not too cool for school yet. Or what I really mean is that they're not too cool for me yet.
Ok, so here's some stats from the park so far:
Miles skied: 39
Strange foods consumed: Turtle, Bear, and Elk (note: wild game night is tonight, so I could have another addition to this list very soon)
First Grader Quote of the Week:
Mel: The snowshoe hare and lynx association is an example of Predator vs. Prey.
Child: What about Predator vs. Alien?
Mel: You'll have to ask Sigourney Weaver.
For grammar geek: I spell checked this, but because of time constraints I am not able to go through and thoroughly proofread this entry, so LAY OFF!!!!!

Life and culture in the canyon!

So, I finally figured out how to post pictures on the blog. Check out these bad boys! We went to barstool finals in Martin City, MT, and these truly are the creme de la creme of the canyon folk. My personal favorite is the pirate ship chasing the two barka loungers. The true comedy of that one was the end, which was not captured on film, but they ended up crashing into the crowd at the finish line and pandamonium broke out. I love this place sometimes.
So, working with children has made me realize why ritalin was created. A direct quote from a child yesterday:
Parent: (Jokingly) Have you ever heard of ritalin?
Child: I used to be on ritalin, but it hurt my stomach, so my mom took me off of it, but she told me that if I couldn't control myself, I'd have to go back on it. They used to come in little yellow pills...Hey! Can I throw this iceball at a bird?
Me: No, (sigh) Chris.
It's a little sad. It's actually really sad.
On a lighter note: I saw the coolest Corvid extravaganza yesterday. In the trees (lodgepole pines and black cottonwoods to be precise) I saw ravens eating something down by the river, then stellar jays started to approach, then clark's nutcrackers came in, and to finish it off, crows swooped in to finish the job. Way cool.
And I know that the grammar on the last blog is wrong, it was supposed to be like spoken word. Who actually says 'I' in that case? Geeks, and not just regular geeks, grammar geeks.

A true participant of the Barstool races. That's right he's drinking a beer while racing, if you can actually call it racing.