Hand Sanitizer - a very good thing

So far I've been working with the rugrats five weeks and counting, and knock on wood, no colds or illnesses yet. I attribute this, in no small part, to my excessive overuse of Purell hand sanitizer. Sure my hands look like mudcracks in the Sahara, and are about as soft as sandpaper, but so far I have avoided the plague of viruses that these little vectors present. I would also like to thank Lysol brand sanitizing spray, as I use it to disinfect every surface that the children could have possibly touched. It's not overkill - it's self-preservation!
So, this week we had sixth graders for the first time, and I have determined through scientific means, that they are indeed, not human. They have attention spans shorter than first graders, are scared of the opposite sex, but want to have boyfriends and girlfriends, and they actually challenge what you say. Do they not know that as far as winter ecology is concerned, I am their God? Whatever I say is right. Of course snow has insulating properties, and the layer under the snow is called the subnivean, a wood rooted in Latin. Who the hell do these kids think they are? Ph.D.'s? And boys must start really liking boobs at about this point in time because I saw several staring at one of their classmates who was, shall we say, an early bloomer. Sick little bastards. Why can't they all be like first graders? Sure, they don't always make it to the bathroom on time, and their handwriting is atrocious at best, but at least they're not too cool for school yet. Or what I really mean is that they're not too cool for me yet.
Ok, so here's some stats from the park so far:
Miles skied: 39
Strange foods consumed: Turtle, Bear, and Elk (note: wild game night is tonight, so I could have another addition to this list very soon)
First Grader Quote of the Week:
Mel: The snowshoe hare and lynx association is an example of Predator vs. Prey.
Child: What about Predator vs. Alien?
Mel: You'll have to ask Sigourney Weaver.
For grammar geek: I spell checked this, but because of time constraints I am not able to go through and thoroughly proofread this entry, so LAY OFF!!!!!