What did Martin Scorsese do to the academy to deserve this? I mean, sure Million Dollar Baby was incredible, but doesn't Marty deserve to be validated after all these years? Personally, I think he's a little long winded and unfocused, but shoot, just give the man his Oscar and get on with it. He and Susan Lucci should sit down and talk sometime.
Other than that I was really happy about the Oscar turn out, but did anybody else see a little too much of Beyonce? What, did the original artists go on strike or something? Does she have the best manager ever (isn't it her dad? Maybe he offed a couple of them). I don't know, but all I do know is that someone who once sang "Bootylicious" should not attempt French choral works.
And what was up with Josh Grobin? I thought the kid could sing, but can anybody say key modulation? Bring that sucker up three notches and then maybe he could hit the notes. No chance in the world for that kid.
Other than that, things are good and well here. I had an exciting run in with a Justin Timberlake look alike. This kid was a dead-ringer. It actually could have been him, but I doubt it judging the crowd he was hanging with, and well, what would Justin Timberlake be doing in Whitefish, MT? Anyway, we went to see "Hotel Rwanda" the other night and got some dinner before hand at the Bulldog. We walk in, and this blonde guy is blocking the way, so I simply say, "Excuse me", and he moves, but when he turns around, a slight notion of recognition occurs.
I said to Ali and Debby, "Does that guy remind you of someone?" and Ali replied, "Um, he looks exactly like Justin Timberlake." At which point I proceeded to start humming the JT songs I know, all three of them. He didn't come up much in conversation except for the occasional, "I bet he gets that a lot," but when we left, I looked back to see if the other ladies were behind me and accidentally made eye-contact. I nearly jumped. Seriously, this guy could be his double. So weird.
"Hotel Rwanda" was great, and you should all go out and see "Million Dollar Baby" right now. "Sideways" was also very good. Haven't seen "The Aviator" or "Finding Neverland" yet, but they're on the list.
Ok, here's the stats:
New gray hairs: 2
New Birds: Bohemian Waxwings
First Grader Quote of the Week: "If I die, is everybody else going to eat me?"
Miles skied: 41
Pounds gained: 3.4 (Who gains weight on a meager food stipend? I'm saying it's muscle replacing fat.)
Monday, February 28, 2005
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Hand Sanitizer - a very good thing
So far I've been working with the rugrats five weeks and counting, and knock on wood, no colds or illnesses yet. I attribute this, in no small part, to my excessive overuse of Purell hand sanitizer. Sure my hands look like mudcracks in the Sahara, and are about as soft as sandpaper, but so far I have avoided the plague of viruses that these little vectors present. I would also like to thank Lysol brand sanitizing spray, as I use it to disinfect every surface that the children could have possibly touched. It's not overkill - it's self-preservation!
So, this week we had sixth graders for the first time, and I have determined through scientific means, that they are indeed, not human. They have attention spans shorter than first graders, are scared of the opposite sex, but want to have boyfriends and girlfriends, and they actually challenge what you say. Do they not know that as far as winter ecology is concerned, I am their God? Whatever I say is right. Of course snow has insulating properties, and the layer under the snow is called the subnivean, a wood rooted in Latin. Who the hell do these kids think they are? Ph.D.'s? And boys must start really liking boobs at about this point in time because I saw several staring at one of their classmates who was, shall we say, an early bloomer. Sick little bastards. Why can't they all be like first graders? Sure, they don't always make it to the bathroom on time, and their handwriting is atrocious at best, but at least they're not too cool for school yet. Or what I really mean is that they're not too cool for me yet.
Ok, so here's some stats from the park so far:
Miles skied: 39
Strange foods consumed: Turtle, Bear, and Elk (note: wild game night is tonight, so I could have another addition to this list very soon)
First Grader Quote of the Week:
Mel: The snowshoe hare and lynx association is an example of Predator vs. Prey.
Child: What about Predator vs. Alien?
Mel: You'll have to ask Sigourney Weaver.
For grammar geek: I spell checked this, but because of time constraints I am not able to go through and thoroughly proofread this entry, so LAY OFF!!!!!
So, this week we had sixth graders for the first time, and I have determined through scientific means, that they are indeed, not human. They have attention spans shorter than first graders, are scared of the opposite sex, but want to have boyfriends and girlfriends, and they actually challenge what you say. Do they not know that as far as winter ecology is concerned, I am their God? Whatever I say is right. Of course snow has insulating properties, and the layer under the snow is called the subnivean, a wood rooted in Latin. Who the hell do these kids think they are? Ph.D.'s? And boys must start really liking boobs at about this point in time because I saw several staring at one of their classmates who was, shall we say, an early bloomer. Sick little bastards. Why can't they all be like first graders? Sure, they don't always make it to the bathroom on time, and their handwriting is atrocious at best, but at least they're not too cool for school yet. Or what I really mean is that they're not too cool for me yet.
Ok, so here's some stats from the park so far:
Miles skied: 39
Strange foods consumed: Turtle, Bear, and Elk (note: wild game night is tonight, so I could have another addition to this list very soon)
First Grader Quote of the Week:
Mel: The snowshoe hare and lynx association is an example of Predator vs. Prey.
Child: What about Predator vs. Alien?
Mel: You'll have to ask Sigourney Weaver.
For grammar geek: I spell checked this, but because of time constraints I am not able to go through and thoroughly proofread this entry, so LAY OFF!!!!!
Friday, February 18, 2005
Life and culture in the canyon!
So, I finally figured out how to post pictures on the blog. Check out these bad boys! We went to barstool finals in Martin City, MT, and these truly are the creme de la creme of the canyon folk. My personal favorite is the pirate ship chasing the two barka loungers. The true comedy of that one was the end, which was not captured on film, but they ended up crashing into the crowd at the finish line and pandamonium broke out. I love this place sometimes.
So, working with children has made me realize why ritalin was created. A direct quote from a child yesterday:
Parent: (Jokingly) Have you ever heard of ritalin?
Child: I used to be on ritalin, but it hurt my stomach, so my mom took me off of it, but she told me that if I couldn't control myself, I'd have to go back on it. They used to come in little yellow pills...Hey! Can I throw this iceball at a bird?
Me: No, (sigh) Chris.
It's a little sad. It's actually really sad.
On a lighter note: I saw the coolest Corvid extravaganza yesterday. In the trees (lodgepole pines and black cottonwoods to be precise) I saw ravens eating something down by the river, then stellar jays started to approach, then clark's nutcrackers came in, and to finish it off, crows swooped in to finish the job. Way cool.
And I know that the grammar on the last blog is wrong, it was supposed to be like spoken word. Who actually says 'I' in that case? Geeks, and not just regular geeks, grammar geeks.
So, working with children has made me realize why ritalin was created. A direct quote from a child yesterday:
Parent: (Jokingly) Have you ever heard of ritalin?
Child: I used to be on ritalin, but it hurt my stomach, so my mom took me off of it, but she told me that if I couldn't control myself, I'd have to go back on it. They used to come in little yellow pills...Hey! Can I throw this iceball at a bird?
Me: No, (sigh) Chris.
It's a little sad. It's actually really sad.
On a lighter note: I saw the coolest Corvid extravaganza yesterday. In the trees (lodgepole pines and black cottonwoods to be precise) I saw ravens eating something down by the river, then stellar jays started to approach, then clark's nutcrackers came in, and to finish it off, crows swooped in to finish the job. Way cool.
And I know that the grammar on the last blog is wrong, it was supposed to be like spoken word. Who actually says 'I' in that case? Geeks, and not just regular geeks, grammar geeks.
Monday, February 14, 2005
Who hates this day more than me?
Hey. After a lot of whining and sniveling, and about a bottle of wine (no pun intended), I decided to take out my frustration in writing. I'm using this blog as a catharsis for my total loathing, and hatred of Valentine's Day. Who in their right mind would actually celebrate this God forsaken holiday? Huh? If any of you answer me, you are no longer my friend. Just kidding, but really? It's a day propagated and perpetuated by the greeting card/restaurant/florist conglomerate that secretly rules and executes all non-religious holidays (and some religious ones too. Ever heard of Easter with Jesus? I didn't think so). Why should we support this evil enterprise with our money and efforts? And why isn't every day a day to celebrate the relationships we have romantic or otherwise?
At any rate, this St. Valentine's day was no different than the 24 valentine's days I have experienced in my day, the exception being that I have a blog now and cyber space can now hear my ranting rather than my pillow or family members. The only thing that made this day any better was the first graders. Ah, saved again by the 7 year olds. The funniest thing I saw was a little kid sticking his arms down his bib-overalls and running around crying "I'm a Penguin! I'm a Penguin!" It was seriously hilarious. Maybe you had to be there.
Oh, I already have FIRST GRADER QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
"I'm gonna shoot me a hummingbird. I hear they're good eatin'."
Funny stuff.
At any rate, this St. Valentine's day was no different than the 24 valentine's days I have experienced in my day, the exception being that I have a blog now and cyber space can now hear my ranting rather than my pillow or family members. The only thing that made this day any better was the first graders. Ah, saved again by the 7 year olds. The funniest thing I saw was a little kid sticking his arms down his bib-overalls and running around crying "I'm a Penguin! I'm a Penguin!" It was seriously hilarious. Maybe you had to be there.
Oh, I already have FIRST GRADER QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
"I'm gonna shoot me a hummingbird. I hear they're good eatin'."
Funny stuff.
Friday, February 11, 2005
Rocky Mountain High!!!!
Ok, who just started singing John Denver? Don't lie, I know you were doing it.
So another week, a few more gray hairs, and nothing to show for it except some unexplained bruises on my feet. Let's see I'll do a quick run down of this week's events.
The week started out slowly, Monday and Tuesday were fairly uneventful, but Wednesday's class decided to come on Thursday, so Debby and I took a little trip to the east side. We began the morning with a couple strong cups of Joe, and headed out in the faithful Ford Aerostar van, affectionately referred to as "Babe" (as in Paul Bunyon's ox). Heading down Montana highway 2 we stopped for a moment as Maria's pass to sing a little ditty from "Paint Your Wagons". If you're unfamiliar with this fine cinematic masterpiece, I first suggest you watch it (it stars a very young Clint Eastwood, and Lee Marvin both singing), and then you will know the song "Maria's Wind". After that we went to the Goat Lick. I think this is especially interesting because it a perfet place to view cognitive learning and teaching skills of Mountain Goats. The parents teach the young to come to this place and lick the rocks for natural salts. Cool.
So, then we went to East Glacier where the wind was blowing, oh at about mach 3. So hard that it was picking up ice particals and slashing them against my face. OUCH! So I braved the winds to try and ski to a place to see these really cool falls, but we got like 2 miles in and I was like, SCREW THIS!!! And turned around. At least on the way back, I had a strong tail wind to help push me up the hill.
Onwards down the road, we encountered the small town of Browning, Montana. I don't know if any of you have heard of Browning, but it's the last stronghold of the Blackfeet Indians. It's pretty much the capital of the Res. And it's a little on the scary side. So, we roll into Browning looking for some eats, and I'm driving. Now, remember, we've got government plates on this bad boy. As we're driving around town looking for a reputable dining establishment, I apparently turn the wrong way down a one way street. Someone honks at me, I'm tempted to give them the bird, but then I remember the plates. Turns out, there was no sign, I'm just supposed to know that it's a one-way from the parked cars. Right....
So, we decide to get some stuff at the grocery store. The doors of the grocery store are flanked with two very mangey looking dogs, and a very drunk native man. We are the only gringos in the store, and somehow, we get the feeling that we're not so much in welcome territory. So we picked up a hodge-podge of food, in no way a balanced diet, and got the hell outta there. Shudder. Not a place Mel ever needs to go again.
Well, to make a long story a little shorter, we had a strange run-in with the secretary from St. Mary who didn't really talk to us, but rather communicated in a series of emphatic "Hmmm's", with inflection going up or down depending on the response. Cooky. I made another attempt at getting the car stuck, but alas, was unsuccessful. God I love driving cars that aren't mine through 5 foot snow banks. The key is the running start.
Well, that's pretty much it. Oh! We also went to the Bulldog Saloon in Whitefish for dinner last night, and ladies if you're looking for a cheap thrill, I suggest using the stall on the left. Let's just say there's a parental warning on it for a reason. Woo hoo!
Other stats:
Miles skiied: About 35
New Birds to Add to the List: Clark's Nutcracker, Pine siskin, Great Gray Owl
Funny first grader quote for the week: Snowshoe hares can be any color, but pink!
So another week, a few more gray hairs, and nothing to show for it except some unexplained bruises on my feet. Let's see I'll do a quick run down of this week's events.
The week started out slowly, Monday and Tuesday were fairly uneventful, but Wednesday's class decided to come on Thursday, so Debby and I took a little trip to the east side. We began the morning with a couple strong cups of Joe, and headed out in the faithful Ford Aerostar van, affectionately referred to as "Babe" (as in Paul Bunyon's ox). Heading down Montana highway 2 we stopped for a moment as Maria's pass to sing a little ditty from "Paint Your Wagons". If you're unfamiliar with this fine cinematic masterpiece, I first suggest you watch it (it stars a very young Clint Eastwood, and Lee Marvin both singing), and then you will know the song "Maria's Wind". After that we went to the Goat Lick. I think this is especially interesting because it a perfet place to view cognitive learning and teaching skills of Mountain Goats. The parents teach the young to come to this place and lick the rocks for natural salts. Cool.
So, then we went to East Glacier where the wind was blowing, oh at about mach 3. So hard that it was picking up ice particals and slashing them against my face. OUCH! So I braved the winds to try and ski to a place to see these really cool falls, but we got like 2 miles in and I was like, SCREW THIS!!! And turned around. At least on the way back, I had a strong tail wind to help push me up the hill.
Onwards down the road, we encountered the small town of Browning, Montana. I don't know if any of you have heard of Browning, but it's the last stronghold of the Blackfeet Indians. It's pretty much the capital of the Res. And it's a little on the scary side. So, we roll into Browning looking for some eats, and I'm driving. Now, remember, we've got government plates on this bad boy. As we're driving around town looking for a reputable dining establishment, I apparently turn the wrong way down a one way street. Someone honks at me, I'm tempted to give them the bird, but then I remember the plates. Turns out, there was no sign, I'm just supposed to know that it's a one-way from the parked cars. Right....
So, we decide to get some stuff at the grocery store. The doors of the grocery store are flanked with two very mangey looking dogs, and a very drunk native man. We are the only gringos in the store, and somehow, we get the feeling that we're not so much in welcome territory. So we picked up a hodge-podge of food, in no way a balanced diet, and got the hell outta there. Shudder. Not a place Mel ever needs to go again.
Well, to make a long story a little shorter, we had a strange run-in with the secretary from St. Mary who didn't really talk to us, but rather communicated in a series of emphatic "Hmmm's", with inflection going up or down depending on the response. Cooky. I made another attempt at getting the car stuck, but alas, was unsuccessful. God I love driving cars that aren't mine through 5 foot snow banks. The key is the running start.
Well, that's pretty much it. Oh! We also went to the Bulldog Saloon in Whitefish for dinner last night, and ladies if you're looking for a cheap thrill, I suggest using the stall on the left. Let's just say there's a parental warning on it for a reason. Woo hoo!
Other stats:
Miles skiied: About 35
New Birds to Add to the List: Clark's Nutcracker, Pine siskin, Great Gray Owl
Funny first grader quote for the week: Snowshoe hares can be any color, but pink!
Friday, February 04, 2005
Funny things about 7 year olds
So there are a ton of silly things that first graders do that would never happen in adults. For instance, they all want to hold your hand, regardless if they are scared, happy, secure, or have to pee. In addition, they will give you unprovoked hugs to express their "Like" for you. When putting on their snow shoes, they find it totally normal to fart, sneeze, and cough in your face, and when you react to this they fall down laughing at your disgust.
You know how you have to raise your hand to get a question answered? Well, first graders apparently have the shortest of all short term memories, I mean these kids can rival the best of all pot smokers. So when they raise their hands - I'm not even kidding about this - like eighty percent of them forget what they were going to say. It goes like this,"Girls and boys, can you tell me an example of an animal that hibernates?" Thirty hands emphatically go up, so I call on one.
"Yes, Susie, what is an animal that hibernates?"
"Umm.......(long pause with lots of deep breathes, followed by giggling), I forgot!"
*On a special note, there are several animals that hibernate other than bears. There is also an on-going argument of whether bears are true hibernators or not. Torpor, or hibernation, you be the judge.
Oh, and let me tell you something else. If food falls on the floor, it is totally fair game. There's no five second rule, no consideration for the condition of the ground surface, no accounting for whose hand it fell from. Nothing. This is why I never eat food offered to me by a first grader. God only knows where it's been.
Ok, so I like to think of the funniest thing a kid said during the week. And this week's goes like this:
Child: I'm psychic.
Mel: Oh really.
Child: Yep, I can tell you how old you are without asking. (Note: Another thing children do that adults wouldn't: ask a woman her age)
The child puts two fingers to each temple and rubs them as if he is trying to center on his third. Then, he opens his eyes and says: 37!
Mel: What?!!!! Do I really look like I'm 37? I mean, I know I have the gray hairs and stuff, but really kid, do I look 37?
Child: (Laughing) How old are you really?
Mel: 23!
Child: Oh! Then I bet I know how old Ranger Debby is.
Mel: How old do you think Ranger Debby is?
Child: (same temple rubbing motions) 24!
Mel: (to myself) you little shit.
Child: What?
Mel: Nothing. So I look 37 and Ranger Debby looks 24?
Child: (laughing) No, you both look the same.
Mel: Whatever.
So ladies and gentlemen, they may look sweet and innocent, but under their sticky and grimy exteriors, lie insults just waiting to be had!
No, but they're lovable in their own ways. Just like many of you. HA!
You know how you have to raise your hand to get a question answered? Well, first graders apparently have the shortest of all short term memories, I mean these kids can rival the best of all pot smokers. So when they raise their hands - I'm not even kidding about this - like eighty percent of them forget what they were going to say. It goes like this,"Girls and boys, can you tell me an example of an animal that hibernates?" Thirty hands emphatically go up, so I call on one.
"Yes, Susie, what is an animal that hibernates?"
"Umm.......(long pause with lots of deep breathes, followed by giggling), I forgot!"
*On a special note, there are several animals that hibernate other than bears. There is also an on-going argument of whether bears are true hibernators or not. Torpor, or hibernation, you be the judge.
Oh, and let me tell you something else. If food falls on the floor, it is totally fair game. There's no five second rule, no consideration for the condition of the ground surface, no accounting for whose hand it fell from. Nothing. This is why I never eat food offered to me by a first grader. God only knows where it's been.
Ok, so I like to think of the funniest thing a kid said during the week. And this week's goes like this:
Child: I'm psychic.
Mel: Oh really.
Child: Yep, I can tell you how old you are without asking. (Note: Another thing children do that adults wouldn't: ask a woman her age)
The child puts two fingers to each temple and rubs them as if he is trying to center on his third. Then, he opens his eyes and says: 37!
Mel: What?!!!! Do I really look like I'm 37? I mean, I know I have the gray hairs and stuff, but really kid, do I look 37?
Child: (Laughing) How old are you really?
Mel: 23!
Child: Oh! Then I bet I know how old Ranger Debby is.
Mel: How old do you think Ranger Debby is?
Child: (same temple rubbing motions) 24!
Mel: (to myself) you little shit.
Child: What?
Mel: Nothing. So I look 37 and Ranger Debby looks 24?
Child: (laughing) No, you both look the same.
Mel: Whatever.
So ladies and gentlemen, they may look sweet and innocent, but under their sticky and grimy exteriors, lie insults just waiting to be had!
No, but they're lovable in their own ways. Just like many of you. HA!
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
Your tax dollars hard at work
So I know the last blog entry said that you shouldn't drive your gas guzzling cars anymore, and while I'm sticking to my guns on that one, it definitely does not apply to government vehicles. In particular, ones I drive. Government vehicles, particularly those with 4 wheel drive are kick ass to drive. You know why? Because they're not yours!! And because they have this sticker on the back that says "FOR OFFICIAL USE ONLY". Ha! as if my four-bying is official use! Well, technically it is, but seriously, who are they kidding? So the whole motivation for this ranting is that we get to drive this minivan (Ford Aerostar circa 95) that is equipped with four wheel drive. Seeing as how all the snow is melting, we have to go deeper and farther into the wilderness to find snow, and the four wheel drive has made for many adventures. Now, I'm not saying we haven't had the threat of getting stuck once or twice, but with the skillful driving and maneuvering abilities of yours truly, I have managed to get us out of a few little (or big as it were) scrapes. The treks into the wilderness are for scientific purposes: we're measuring snowpack for a global climate change study, and for avalanche danger, so it's in our best interest to get as close to the trail heads as possible, thereby necessitating the 4x4.
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